Down the line
by LoudVoice
Summary: A series of one-shots in an Olicity universe. Fourth story up: Barry asks Felicity to move with him to Central City...she decides to go, without telling Oliver.
1. Chapter 1

**A.N. So, I wrote this a couple of weeks ago but edited the ending today after that fantastic, awesome and otherwise perfect sneak peek. I stuck to my own imagination for how the team got there though. I hope you enjoy. **

* * *

Trees. Everywhere around here there were trees. And a rocks. Lots of rocks.

Felicity squinted to see what else she could make out in the fading twilight. Nope. Not much else. Just trees and rocks. She could feel the boat engine trembling below her feet, and then a stronger whirring sound signaled the anchor being lowered. She looked at Diggle standing next to her and she _so_ could relate at the expression on his face.

Frustration. Concern. Hope. Determination.

It had been five months since the Undertaking and it was time. Time to drag Oliver Queen back to Starling City, kicking and screaming if they had to. Diggle's words but she was totally on board with that.

"You're sure you want to come with?" Diggle's voice interrupted her thoughts.

"One hundred percent," she replied shortly.

Diggle nodded and started patting first the side pockets of his cargo pants and then the ones on his vest taking inventory. Felicity looked down at her own similar outfit and marveled how she had ended up looking like a SWAT team member. Then again Oliver Queen had that effect on women. Not transforming them into SWAT members, she amended, maybe just making them do things they didn't think they ever would. She kinda missed that about him, one of the reasons she had come with to take him back home.

"You ready?"

"Yes," she said and followed him to the craft that would take them to the island.

A few minutes later they were stepping on dry land.

"You got your tablet?" Diggle asked on a low voice, already scanning their surroundings.

"Yes. Satellite imaging showed no one on this island for the past months save our fearless and may I add crazy leader."

"Last chance to stay here, Felicity."

"Oh, please!" she sighed in exasperation and motioned for him to lead the way.

For the next couple of hours they trudges through all those trees she had looked at from the boat. On and on they went farther inland with Diggle leading the way, guided by a map and compass.

"Okay, so even if we had a destination in this island, that turns out to be freakishly big after all, how are we supposed to find him? He may be pulling a Cullen and hiding on top of the trees or something!" Felicity exclaimed in irritation after putting up with their silent trek for too long.

"We'll find him," Diggle reassured her. He was the steady one, the peacemaker and he always succeeded in making her focus, both when they trained and in situations like this one. Right, she thought sarcastically, as if she had been in similar situations before. Stupid Oliver.

Stupid, wonderful, hurting Oliver…she reminded herself. Her resolve strengthened at the memory of how broken he had been the night of the Undertaking and couple of days after that, before he upped and disappeared. Each of them were scarred from what they'd been through that night.

Even she found herself changed. The reality of the city she lived in had cracked the rosy lenses through which she had looked at the world before. So here she was now. She knew that the city needed Oliver back. His family needed him. She didn't though. She didn't need him to be what he was before. She just wanted him back whole. In all the ways that counted. She stepped over the millionth root. Yes, she wanted him to heal, and isolation wouldn't help him with that, not anymore.

She had known where he was headed as soon as he boarded his jet to China. Through satellites she had followed him here and then kept an eye on him never telling anyone where he was, except Dig. Oliver had needed this, she had reassured herself. But now, five months later enough was enough. He had to come back, and if they had to come here and get him so be it. If she had to personally deliver him to his family's –and Laurel's she thought and tightened her lips- arms then she'd do it. Because that's how he'd heal.

Absorbed by her thoughts she noticed Dig stopping just in time before she bumped into him. He had his fist in the air, and she rolled her eyes. She leaned to look around Dig's bulk and then froze. "What?"

"I thought I heard something," Dig said, already relaxing to make her know it had been a false alarm.

She started following him once again, and hadn't taken more than a couple of steps when her she heard the click. She froze on her tracks, quickly deducing exactly what Dig was saying.

_Land mine. Disarm._

The words the only ones penetrating her momentary terror. And then a voice from above.

"You can't. Diggle step back. Felicity, don't move."

_Oh for God's sake! He _was_ pulling a Cullen._

* * *

** A.N. 2: I hope you liked it. I swear that I had written the Cullen part before the sneak peek, and laughed so hard when I saw Oliver on that tree. XD I love this show. **


	2. Chapter 2

A.N. This is a really angsty piece that wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it. I have to point out that Oliver might not be very IC in this, but the plot bunny was too annoying to ignore. And grovelling Oliver sure was satisfying to write :D Hope you enjoy.

Btw the one shots will follow a linear timeline, but obviously unrelated to Season 2.

* * *

"I quit. "

Oliver's head snaps up at that. He knows he's not one, but to hear her say it…

"I defended you to people. But no. You just turned your back to everyone." Felicity's tears are flowing faster now, and all he can do is sit there and watch her cry.

"I gave up my life for this," she shouts, motioning to the basement around them. "My time, my personal life, everything," she adds quieter now, the words no less hurtful to Oliver. "Just because I believed in what you were doing. I believed in you, the true you down here, not the one up there," she points at the club above them. "I thought I was part of this… this team- that were a family now. After all we'd been through. I thought you only showed your true self down here with us, and maybe we could make the guilt of lying to your family go away."

He can't help it when her name falls from his lips, but he knows she's not listening. Everything inside him hurts now. He did this. He deserves it.

_Diggle was pressing him for answers. Answers on Laurel, why he left, what he was planning to do. Used to the solitude he got in the island for the past few months he snapped. And started attacking Diggle._

_"Who do you think you are?" He asked angrily getting in Diggle's face. "I brought you into this to help me not be my minder. You think just because you provide back up if and when I need it you're qualified to judge me? You're here to do your job, I still _pay_ you to do your job."_

_Of course Diggle had wanted to give back as good as he got. "To hell with me then," he had shouted. "I will do my job," he sneered at the word, "I haven't seen you doing yours. Felicity has been busting her ass off-"_

_At the reminder of the other person that had come with Diggle to get him off the island, Oliver's anger returned. They had intruded. Both of them, but Felicity especially. "Spare me. As if she cares, as if you both care about what we do. You think I don't know how you self-righteously criticize_ _me when I'm not here? As if you have any right to judge me. To tell me what's right or wrong. Felicity Smoak the awkward little innocent with all her thoughts of goodness. If she didn't delude herself into thinking she would somehow reform me and we'd live happily ever after, she wouldn't be here. Just like every other woman in my life. And you. You miss the high that you got because you helped people but I haven't seen you out there doing anything. You just hide behind the Hood." Oliver had finished, panting. _

_He didn't see the fist that came at him. He felt dizzy afterwards, not from the punch but from the anger and hurt that had found an outlet. The worst possible outlet. Diggle's retreating steps echoed in his ear and then stopped. His mouth was dry. The bitterness of the words a very real flavor in his mouth. He turned his head to call out to his friend, apologize. What he saw froze him inside. Diggle was standing next to a stunned Felicity, his hand on her shoulder entreating her to turn around and leave, but she didn't. She stayed in her spot even when Diggle left. _

"God, I was so stupid," her tearful voice brings him out of his daze. "I thought that this was the real you. Here with us. Even when I read all those stories about before, I thought what difference could the island make, if down to his core a man is good." She whispered now, as if talking to herself. "But all this time, this is what you thought of us? We're just footnotes in your life, aren't we? Useful little Felicity, acting like all those lovestruck women who throw themselves at you, but she can hack a network in seconds so she can stay. And Diggle, yeah you could use the back up right? But when it comes to helping him, you're off to help people who really matter to you."

It never occurred to Oliver how large a role Felicity played in his life. Not until now. Now with her whispered accusations, now that he failed her. It hurts more than he could think possible. He doesn't know when she became so important, but the amount of pain he feels now is just…And it's all his fault.

"I quit," she says, finally and all Oliver hears is 'I give up',

"Felicity," he says hoarsely, reaching out a hand to stop her.

"No. No more Oliver. I heard what you think of me. Poor deluded Felicity. To think that I could motivate you to make this city better," she laughs without humor. "Felicity with her delusions of romance and her annoying awkwardness. You know," she says and finally looks up, "I thought you were kind and didn't want to make me uncomfortable about my feelings, and I appreciated that. I knew nothing would come out of it, and I thought, well…yeah you know? He's in love with someone else, so that's fine. He deserves to be happy and I'll help him get there in my small way. No expectations or anything."

Her bittersweet smile is killing him.

"But chalk that up to my deluded feelings and to thinking we were friends. Just…yeah. I quit," she states. Her tears have dried now and she turns away.

He watches her leave, every single part of body aching, and for once it's not from exercise. Inside he's numb. He doesn't want to move. Moving will make this real and not a nightmare, and even though he's been living a nightmare since Tommy died, it's been easier down here lately with Dig and Felicity.

They tried to get him out of it and were succeeding until now. Until in a last attempt to get rid of all the hurt inside he let it out on them. Felicity's words…God, how can he make this right?

When the thought enters his mind, a sense of urgency floods him. He has to make this right. Finally he moves, starts running up the stairs to the club. He runs across the empty dance floor and out in the street looking left and right. Dig's long gone, but he's looking for Felicity. What she said. He has to apologize, to explain that she's wrong.

He spots her car and rushes to it, hoping that she won't drive off before he reaches her. But as he closes in, he sees her head resting on the steering wheel. Her shoulders are shaking.

Without thought he opens the door –startling her in the process- and kneels on the pavement. "Felicity… I'm sorry. So sorry," he says brokenly, and take her hand in both of his. She's looking back at him numbly and he takes advantage of her inaction to explain, to convince her. He knows he only has time until her surprise at his appearance fades. "I didn't mean what I said. I don't know why I did. I'm just so…"

She tries to take her hand away, but he holds on. He looks deep into her eyes, willing her to see the sincerity there. How this whole horrible thing woke him up, how he's not letting go. "Please. Just- just wait. Diggle was pushing me, everything's been- fuck!" He lowers his forehead to their joined hands and tries to come up with the right words. "I lashed out, I was angry at you…both of you. I was fine at the island," he whispers, raising his head to look at her to make her understand. "I was back there. Tommy said once that I should have died back there, and with him gone, I wanted to. But I couldn't. Then you came to bring me back and I'm so mad. Because you, both of you, forced me to come back."

"Oliver, why-" she tries to ask brokenly, but he interrupts her. He has to get it all out.

"No, wait. You have- you need to hear me say this. You need to know that. Everything I said wasn't true. Felicity," he sighs now, thankful that she hasn't left yet, "I am a mess. No one knows that better than you. No one. The only place I can let my guard down is in that basement when you and John are around. You don't know how much that means to me. I know I'm not the easiest person to be around, and no one else knows that better than you guys. Not my mother, not my sister, not even my best friend and he- he couldn't be around me when he saw the real me. But you… you see me and you care and I can't handle it sometimes. That's why I lash out," he pants, and all the nervous energy he felt before is gone now.

His neck can't hold his head up anymore, so he lowers it and swallows thickly. He prays that he's showed her how much this has cost him. Then he laughs mirthlessly, realizing he doesn't know whether he means the past five months or the mess he made tonight. He's been in front of a firing squad before, and now feels just the same. Waiting for his fate to be determined.

Some time later, he doesn't know how long, her hand slips out of his. Now. Now, he understands loneliness.

"Oliver," she whispers, but he doesn't look up. Instead, he nods and stands up. She probably wants to drive off. "Look at me," she orders in a stronger voice.

Wanting to see which it is, he raises his head, lips tight, looking first at anywhere else but her. But then he wants to see. His gazes meets hers. She's stepped out of the car, and stands in front of him looking surprisingly…blank. When did they switch roles?

"I know all that. I know why you lash out, but what you said…I thought I could forgive you anything," she says, furrowing her brows as if she doesn't even understand how she can't forgive him this. He can. He understands, and feels emptier now. "And I can," she adds, surprising him. "I can forgive. I know that you're hurting, but I don't know if I'll ever be able to forget what I heard you say tonight. "

"Felicity, I didn't mean-"he starts, grateful that she might be giving him a chance. Anxious to explain again just so she doesn't leave, but she cuts him off.

"It doesn't matter if you meant it or not. I think…I hope you didn't. But the words, Oliver. They're stuck in my head. Replaying over and over again. " She looks down, as if she's trying to make the broken record in her mind stop.

That's when he sees his opening. She trying to forget. She looks like she wants to. Without thought, he wraps his arms around her and pulls her close. Dropping his face near her ear he starts talking. Telling her everything, all the things he already said, jumbled but he repeats them over and over again so they can replace the memories. "I swear, I didn't mean it. You're part of me," he exhales raggedly after a while and falls silent.

He's feeling dizzy now, but he notices. He notices that her hands are bunching the back of his shirt. How she's burrowed in his arms, how his lips are so close to her skin. His breath on her neck. The moment changes, twists and morphs into something inexplicable.

But then she's pulling away, and the moments gone, because he can see she's been crying. He thinks he might have teared up too, but doesn't care.

For a second her lips tilt up but then it's gone. "Okay," she says, nodding.

"Okay?" he asks trying not to sound too hopeful and failing. When she nods again, Oliver finds himself wanting to hug her, but holds himself back. That small capitulation so tentative, that he doesn't want to ruin it. Instead he takes the first deep breath in what seems like hours.

Gently he takes her arm and moves her to the side. Leaning in the car he takes the keys off the ignition, shoulders her heavy laptop bag and locks her car. Felicity is waiting for him, still digesting all that's happened. He knows because he still is as well.

"You need to talk to Dig," she says, when they both start walking towards the club again.

"I will," he promises. He walks with her down to the basement and then watches her quietly as she goes back to work.

He doesn't look away for a long while.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks everyone for the kind words and reviews :D **

**I struggled with this one since I wrote it as a fluffy one-shot and then it got serious on me (not to mention that I had the hardest time keeping them from having sex - but in the end I managed to keep their clothes on) so there you go. **

**It's probably because of my issues with keeping these two apart in my other story, so Oliver decided to rebel in this one and go for it. LOL**

**Hope you enjoy :)**

* * *

The problem with being Felicity Smoak was that, as all women, she was made of contradictions.

Yes, she was crushing really hard on her boss. No, she did not want to sleep with him. Yes, she fantasized about it every night, but she was never, and she did mean _never_ going to go through with it.

The reasons for that were many. First of which she was looking at right now.

"No, seriously. Do you have to hang over my head to do pull ups? Does the idea that you might squish me if you let go add motivation to the exercise?"

"Felicity," he grunted with effort the tone that in Oliver-speak meant 'Stop making irrelevant observations and do your job, 'cause you're about to make me laugh'.

She wasn't certain for the latter part, but she chose to add it and if someone asked, she'd stick to it.

"Of course." She pursed her lips mockingly and turned back to the screens in front of her.

So yeah, reason number one was that Oliver either a) had a sadistic streak bigger than a fictional billionaire hero in an erotic romance novel –which if so, she totally wasn't his object of obsession- or b) he got off in getting women to drool after him.

She was becoming a cynic and she didn't like it one bit.

The thump coming from behind her chair let her know that Oliver had just jumped down from the beam over her head, no doubt after performing Olympic-class gymnastic moves.

"Does it really bother you?" he asked, and she pretended to be absorbed on the screen in front of her.

"No, it's fine. Whatever," she dismissed him, with a wave over her shoulder.

Reason number two she would never sleep with Oliver Queen. She had been flustered so much around him, she surely had made an ass of herself enough as it was. So now, since she was made of contradictions she was choosing to reign in her crush around him. Laurel was the love of his life after all. Felicity didn't figure into that picture at all. So why make a fool of herself for something that wasn't meant to be.

And yeah, okay, she admitted to herself that did signify that maybe her crush wasn't just a crush, but she had decided to bury it deep, deep down either way.

She turned her chair around to see where he had headed next, and true to her instant prediction he had gone for the stick. It was fascinating to watch him train with that. Though seriously she'd bet that there really wasn't a certain sequence he followed. He just hit it on the pole and made it look good.

"Hey, Felicity?" he called out, not missing a beat.

"Yeah."

"Can you grab me another one? This one is breaking."

"Sure, Mr. He-Man," she murmured as she made her way to where he kept the sticks. She took one out of the pile and went to stand next to him with her hand outstretched, waiting for him to take it. He had done it before and it was quite an impressive move. Not looking away from what he did but still dropping one stick to grab another without stopping.

This time though, he didn't grab the stick. He stopped and turned to face her.

As always during training he had gone without a shirt, and while Felicity was now used to not staring at his torso – especially his pecs- she couldn't help the glance that got away from her, before she turned her attention to him.

"What's wrong?" was his succinct question.

"What do you mean?" She didn't play dumb, but if they had to have this talk, then for once let him be the one to elaborate.

He seemed to grasp the concept fairly quickly. "You seem upset lately. You haven't been…you in a while. I'm worried," he stated, cocking his head to the side and giving her that small close-lipped smile she was sure he gave his sister too.

"I haven't been me, as in…?" She wanted him to say it. Maybe then she'd understand him a bit more. Understand whether he teased on purpose, or maybe he was just oblivious and her own obsession had interpreted things differently.

"I don't know. I could tell what you were thinking before. There weren't things… hidden. Now there are."

Wow, he really was a man, wasn't he? That was the best he could do. It didn't matter though, she told herself. At that moment she decided to let him and herself off the hook. She was done with the whole hoping thing. Friends then. "I'm cool. Really. I was just stressed about some projects at work, so if I was a bit out of it, sorry." She smiled at him.

"Okay," came his uncertain reply.

She didn't wait for him to say anything more, but returned to her desk and continued going through the data she had left.

Felicity looked at the digital clock some hours later, and deeming that the rest of the work could be done tomorrow, she decided to call it a night. She gathered her things and turned to leave only to be stopped by Oliver's voice.

"You done for the night?" he asked, jogging to where she stood at the base of the stairway leading up to the club.

"Yeah, I'll finish up tomorrow," she said and gave him a small smile. Giving up on him really sucked. Then again maybe now she'd go meet someone else in a bar or something like normal people, and not think that prince charming somehow found his way into her office.

"Felicity…you're sure we're okay?" he asked again, and she kept the whole smile thing going, but now it took effort to do it.

"Yes, I'm sure," she tried not to let the irritation surface in her tone.

Instead of stepping aside to let her pass, Oliver oddly stood there and for once she could divine the expression on his face as one of indecision. At last, he brought his arms up and gestured for her to come in for a hug. "Do you…mind?"

She stared. "Are you drunk?"

He sighed, dropped his hands and again an expression she could recognize: Exasperation. "No, Felicity, I'm not drunk." He looked almost embarrassed to add the next part. "Dig said I don't show my appreciation to you guys often, and that I snap at you…a lot. So yeah," he opened his arms once more and he looked so self-deprecating.

You're a sucker, she told herself, but really how could she not reward the effort he was making to be friends. So she stepped up and hugged him, and it was fine…for about three seconds.

At first being in Oliver's arms, was mechanical. Having him explain the reason of the hug made it easier. The movements were routine when she hugged someone. Step up, open arms, enclose other person, maybe pat their back aaaand release.

That's what she was prepared for. She followed every step and after not trying the pat and going straight through to releasing him, he stopped her.

Just tightened his arms, tucked his face in the nook between her neck and shoulder and stopped.

"Oliver?" she whispered uncertainly, feeling his breath against her neck. His whole body stilled against hers.

It suddenly became one of those moments, when she grew conscious of her whole body at once, every single part of it coming alive. He had wrapped his body around hers, surrounding her completely, one of his arms encircling her waist with the palm resting on her ribs. The other one raised to her hair and she could feel his fingers restlessly moving against her hair, flexing and relaxing. His chest rose and fell against hers and her body followed like he had set a rhythm for their breaths to sync.

She couldn't help the sharp inhale when his arms flexed to pull her even tighter to him and then relaxed. He did it again and again. Her body was on fire now. This felt intimate, the evocative pull and release spreading fire through her. Her heart beat faster, her breath shortened. She heard and felt short, fast puffs of air against her neck. He was feeling it, too she thought but had no time to be surprised. This moment claimed her entire focus.

She needed to do something. She needed to move, because the flex and release hadn't stopped and she was feeling an urgency that had to be appeased. Without thought she turned her face to his neck and nuzzled her nose against it. His arms tightened around her once more with his gasp.

Later she'd marvel at her boldness in doing what she did next, but right then all thought had flown out of her head. She rubbed her lips against the skin behind his ear, as he raised his head so their cheeks rubbed against each other.

His short pants were right against her ear now. The hand on her waist clenched and then the fingers passed over the edge of her shirt, the pads resting against her skin. He bunched the material in his hand and raised it out of the way so that his whole palm met her skin.

The buzz of the basement door opening froze them both in place. Diggle's footsteps echoed around them. Quickly, without releasing his hold, Oliver pulled back and she could do nothing but look back at him, stunned and speechless. His expression was equally dazed but he didn't seem horrified like part of her brain expected him to be.

Instead, even as Diggle's steps sounded closer, he closed the distance between them and kissed her. It was quick, his parted lips brushing against her opened mouth. A spark of fire spreading inside her and then gone. He pulled back and immediately leaned back down to brush his mouth against hers again quickly, as if he was unable to stop himself from a second taste.

She stood there stunned when he released her and then he turned away quickly after one last unreadable look. Diggle's footsteps were so close now. It had been seconds since the door to the basement had buzzed. She stood there stunned even as Diggle finally reached the landing and started talking to Oliver as if nothing had happened.

She stood there for a minute content to be ignored by Diggle, but then made her way to her computers. She noticed Oliver's casual but short replies to Dig and her mind reeled at the repercussions of what had just happened.

"Felicity? Do you want me to drop you off home?" Dig's voice called out to her.

She turned her chair around and forced her eyes to where the two men were standing from across the room. "Y- yeah, I was about to head out to, so that'd be great," she replied. She had no idea of what she was supposed to do, so it seemed like the best option, to go on as if the last few minutes hadn't happened.

She ignored Oliver's steady gaze, picked up her bag and made to follow Diggle who was already ascending the steps to the club. She had her foot on the first step and Diggle had opened the door to the club, when Oliver's hand on her elbow stopped her. She froze when his body came flush against her side, her eyes at the height of his collarbone.

"We'll talk?" came his uncertain whisper against her ear.

She raised her eyes to his, wanting to understand, knowing that all her questions and misgiving on what they had done were reflected in her eyes. A wild feeling took root in her heart at his tender expression and she nodded having no idea how to handle this new thing between them. Apparently though they _were_ going to deal with it at some point soon.

He gave her a small smile and Felicity returned it.

"Good night," he whispered still smiling, and she replied in kind, before leaning into him as he did the same. The kiss surprised them both, and they pulled back quickly in shock, eyes widened at how easy that had come to them.

"We'll talk tomorrow," Oliver stated, still stunned but determined.

"Definitely," she replied, nodding a lot and then rushing up the stairs.

She'd have to re-think her whole 'never sleeping with Oliver' resolution apparently.


	4. Chapter 4

Another prompt by Beijingdoll on tumblr. and another angsty one shot for me. I blame her for inspiring me ;-)

Hope you enjoy!

* * *

Barry Allen was handsome. He took her on dates. The first time he kissed her, the feeling stayed with her all day. It had been two months now since they'd began dating and yesterday Felicity's boyfriend asked her to move in with him.

The distance between Starling and Central City was too much for him, and she understood. She missed him. Her whole life she had been mostly alone, letting work and lately Oliver's nighttime activities take over her life.

She had given everything to him. To Oliver. At first her trust, then her time, and later her heart. And he always took.

Now Felicity wanted to take something for herself. Barry was what she'd wanted Oliver to be. Barry _got_ her while Oliver didn't even bother. Of course, she hadn't fooled herself that Oliver would look at her twice while Laurel was around, but even after they'd broken up, he had seemed to notice and/or sleep with all the women he met. Everyone besides Felicity.

She'd been so tired of that. So tired of trying to understand if something was wrong with her. And then Barry showed up. They'd clicked instantly and she focused on him. Even when her mind had tried to wander back to Oliver and how he tensed when she mentioned Barry, or how he looked almost jealous when she left to lair to go on dates, she forced herself to focus all her pent up emotions and divert them to Barry.

So a few hours ago, she'd been happy to realize that it was working. She was falling for Barry. She wanted to fall even deeper for him. But moving in with him? Moving away from Starling. Something still held her back.

A few hours ago.

Not now. Not after their latest and probably last mission. When she'd been so worried that Oliver wouldn't have time to leave before the police got to him that without even thinking about it, put her foot on the gas and then almost spun her car out of control trying to cut off the speeding police cars.

It was a miracle that they hadn't rammed into the driver's side. She thought so as she watched them numbly speeding towards her, as the breaks screeched and then stopped. She heard herself numbly explaining to the officers that she had accidentally put in drive instead of reverse, and then to her humiliation had been severely reprimanded sand then subjected to an alcohol test.

It had been the final straw. Not the alcohol test, but the extremes she realized she would go through to protect a man, who even if he _did_ protect her, didn't care even half as much as she did for him.

And then there was Barry, who loved her. Had told her so.

The next day she made the arrangements without notifying anybody. She hired movers to pack her things, prepared her resignation letter and packed a small bag with some necessities. She'd buy the things she didn't have. Barry wouldn't mind, he told her on the phone elatedly. He questioned her sudden decision but didn't press when she didn't give him answers.

But she would. She'd start a new life, without lies. And she trusted Barry.

That afternoon she found herself in Digg's apartment, explaining her decision.

"I know. I get it, Felicity," he surprised her by saying. "It's not easy. What we do. I've watched you all these months…" He looked at her sadly and she turned her head away, hating the pity she saw there. Felicity the poor misguided fool, with her unrequited love.

Not anymore, she told herself, straightening and meeting Dig's eyes once more. "It was my choice, Dig. But it's my life, too. I want to have one."

"I know. He knows, too. He'll let you go, Felicity. Not because he doesn't care, but because he can't give you what you need."

"That's why I have to do this," she told Dig and after a while they made their goodbyes. Both with tears in their eyes, hugging, silently saying thank you and how much they would miss each other.

She let the hardest part for last. Saying goodbye to her secret life. The lair. She knew Oliver was out on a date. So that was safe. She didn't want him to stop her. She's had set up the email to be sent to him the next morning, when she'd be long gone.

What she didn't know was that after some reflection, Diggle decided to let Oliver know. He didn't get past saying that Felicity was leaving for good, when Oliver hung up on him, but Diggle didn't call him back. It was between the two of them now.

When Felicity entered the lair, she took her time looking around at the darkness before she turned on the lights. It was the last time she'd be there, and she'd miss everything, she knew that.

When the fluorescent lights came on, she jumped, but inside she wasn't all that surprised. Oliver was standing front and center, clad in a designer suit. She had't considered herself very snarky, but her inner voice right then was. The one that pointed out, that he'd probably been on his way to a date before coming here.

Then they just stood there. Several feet apart, staring, challenging each other on who would be the first to talk. She refused to lose this battle.

"You weren't going to tell me?"

"No."

"Why?" He looked so crestfallen, that she had to strengthen her resolve against his expression.

"I need to have a life, Oliver. I need to have a future. Right now, I'm not the most important in my own life. You are! Everything, from the moment I wake up until I get however little sleep I do get, is about you. Everything! I can't go on like that. I can't be a bystander in my own life. "

He didn't believe her. She could see it in his eyes. He was too sure of himself. And of her. "Felicity, you are important! What you do, is so important. I'm sorry if I haven't made you feel appreciated-"

She laughed mirthlessly cutting him off, and then smiled bitterly again at the surprised look on his face. He probably had a whole speech planned. One that provided her with the necessary reassurance, the much needed compliments, maybe some shallow flirtation, so he'd get her to stay. He would have in the past. Not now.

Taking one last moment, she studied his face committing it to memory. Especially his eyes, which were now holding a look of understanding.

"Goodbye, Oliver," she whispered, letting a small smile linger on her lips. "Goodbye, Green Arrow." Without waiting she turned her back and ascended the steps.

Halfway up, noise echoed around her, Oliver's footsteps, and then his hand tugging on her arm, forcing her to turn around and face him. "No! What do you mean, goodbye? No."

"Oliver," she sighed, looking up at him, surprised to see him. He looked panicked, desperate and panting.

"Listen! Don't go. I need you. I'll do anything… anything if you stay…" He reached up and cupped her face in his hands, leaning in as if to kiss her, but Felicity, shocked pulled back.

"Stop! Oliver," she pushed at his chest, gaining his attention. "You don't get it, do you? After all this time… Oliver, I'm leaving because I love you, but if I want to be happy I _can't_ love you."

Oliver's shock at her uttering the words was written all over his face. He looked back at her speechless until she pushed at his chest once more and tried to step back. Instead of releasing her, he kept his hands on her face, and followed her stepping forward in turn.

"But you _do_ love me," he says fiercely, and her heart stumbles. "You think of me all day. You think it's different for me? You think it doesn't drive me crazy seeing you with someone else? I didn't expect it, but _you_ are the most important person in _my_ life. I can't smile unless I see you smiling, I can't breathe easy unless you're around. For the past months, every time I've been truly happy, truly mad, truly anything was because of you. You're my balance. _That's_ how important you are to me. If it means that I have to let you go so you can be happy, then I will. But not before you know this. If you love him as much as me then I won't stop you. But it's not possible that he will love you more…"

She tried to catch her breath but couldn't. Oliver was breathing heavily, too. Their panting the only sound in the room. She couldn't think. She knew she should leave. She stepped back mechanically, feeling his fingers flex on her cheeks before relaxing but staying in place not holding on, but waiting. He was releasing her if she wanted to leave. All she had to do was step back and away.

Why wasn't she?

"Barry is helping me…I deserve to be happy, and he's helping."

He looked broken, as if his eyes held the shattered pieces of his heart. The desolation in his eyes was more than she could take. As always, loving Oliver became a compulsion. A force that made her hold his hand in place when he moved to take it away.

"Will you?" she asked him.

At that Oliver's eyes, already lowering to the ground, snapped back to hers in question.

"Make me happy," she added in a whisper.

He searched her face, no doubt second-guessing himself, Felicity knew. Then as if a switch was flipped, his eyes sparked. Before she knew it, he was kissing her, his mouth slanting over hers, lips opening and then stroking against hers. She kissed him back instantly, the need to do so overwhelming her. He licked at her lips and then stole inside for a deeper taste, his tongue meeting hers.

Felicity's thoughts swam in her head as he kissed her, stars shooting against her closed lids. She felt him tremble against her, and then he stopped to breathe against her open lips before leaning back in and kissing her again as if unable to stop.

Too soon, they were out of air again and she pulled back, only as far as he let her. He kept her face close to his, rubbing his nose against hers, with his eyes still closed.

They stayed like that for several moments. Felicity silently looking up at him, as he nuzzled her with his eyes shut, seeming absolutely content and at peace.

Despite that, he was the one who broke the silence. "You still need an answer," he said, "I don't know if I will. I can only promise you that I'll put everything I have into trying."

Oliver's eyes glimmered with that hopeful promise as he looked down at her and she couldn't look away. _My life_, she thought to herself. She brought her hand up to cup his face, her stomach fluttering when he leaned his cheek into her touch. _My choice_, she thought tenderly.

His eyes snapped open instantly finding hers, a wild joy lighting them up from within.

He whispered back an answer to the thoughts she must have spoken out loud.

"Yours."


End file.
